Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Is sex a need or a want for men?
There are two ways by which a kid can get her favorite ice cream from her mum. The first and most common one is when she tells her Mum to buy her a very nice scoop of vanilla and in return she will do the dishes all summer. The other option is to warn her mum that if she (the mother) refuses to buy her the ice cream, then she would cry all day till the neighbors call the cops. These are the two ways by which a kid could get her favorite yoghourt or strawberry. In psychology the former technique is called positive reinforcement whiles the latter is negative. People are generally motivated by different things in life. Some are motivated by food , money , hug and sex (why did I bring this one last?)
What might be a motivator for someone is an absolute punishment for another. My question however is “Is sex a motivator for everyone?” I have heard stories of big pot-bellies bank managers who were compelled to sign cheques for huge sums of moneys just because of this “motivator”. I have never gotten the chance to discuss this issue with anyone who has been really involved in such not-so-exciting situations though. Putting me in these scenarios is one Gigabyte more than what my mind can handle.
For footballers and athletes for that matter, the ultimate motivator I have come to realize is not really the weekly fat salaries or bonuses they receive. I guess it has more to do with the prestige in being called a Champions League winner or a three time Olympic medalist. It is because of the honor buried in such ornaments that boxers die in rings, footballers break their legs and tennis players get joint dislocations. I am very much fascinated by the way people are steered to behave in a particular manner because of certain metals, plastics or wooden objects.
Husbands have been put in order mainly because their wives refused them sex until they put up a certain behavior. And gosh! I hear it works like crazy!! Thanks to women rights activists certain legislations such as the Domestic Violence bill in Ghana and other similar ones elsewhere, have made it even more effective than it used to be. I am not a legal brain, I must admit, it is my understanding however that this law is powerful enough to enable the woman ask you to “STOP” when you don’t really really want to stop, or should I say when you really really cannot do so. And these commands could come from the very women, men have spent millions to engage or marry. So for this reason there is no trespassing for the man, at least not without spending a couple of days behind bars. Does this make sex a motivator? Sex is a “thank you” souvenir in other times. I guess when this is done men are more likely going to put up the same kind of behavior that led to such an award. Men – sex, sex – men, I don’t see any synonyms here so then why the relation?
What if men rather told their partners there will be no sex for them until they have washed all the curtains in the household and attended to the laundry! How many women would be motivated by this directive and do as they are told? Hmmm I can see fewer hands in this case. So then does it mean that sex is more of need to the man than to the woman? Something isn’t certainly isn’t right.