Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Lessons from David Letterman- why do men cheat?

I do realize I am no authority when questions relating to social issues come up, and that is even the very reason why I have put this question up. I find it bizarre and very difficult to believe when I hear ‘’it is normal for men to cheat”. My defense does not even encompass religious or moral restrictions but rather issues of common sense. I personally think it is disheartening when an individual hears that a partner cheated on her.

I read on yahoo yesterday about how David Letterman, revealed on his late night television program that he had had sexual involvements with women from his program. I personally do admire the courage with which he put his reputation on the line and offered an emotional apology to his dear wife, Regina Lasko. Some however say he was forced to apologize in order to untangle himself from the 2million dollar blackmailing tether that hung round his neck.

Young couple lying in bed

The Question is why on earth do men cheat?
Bill Clinton whiles occupying the highest office on earth, cheated on his ambitious wife, Hillary and the Monica Lewinsky scandal is one thing I am sure Bill will never forget. I spoke to a few friends and to be frank most of them seemed to see the cheating experiences on the part of the men as normal happenings that come with life.

It has to do with the ambitious nature man is born with. For man to live life and enjoy it to the fullest, man (male and female) has ingrained in his DNA a nature that is set to explore the world more and more every time. And that is why we have space explorations and human cloning laboratories today. Man is therefore created to be dissatisfied with one condition after a certain period of time. I may be wrong but I guess this is the root of promiscuity among men. After living with a partner for a long while (long while is actually relative, for some it is just a week for others it could be a decade), they get fed up and perhaps decide to explore more of what life has to offer. And these explorations land them into some trouble. This was actually the best explanation to my question so far.

This explanation however led me to a few more questions. Questions like, “if this hypothesis is true then why are males the ones who get fed up?””Is it that fewer women cheat than men, or more men are caught than men?”, “why is it that some men do not cheat at all?”


Abena said...

Wow, Edward, I really admire you delving into such a complex and murky issue! Unfort, I think Letterman came clean only to downplay any fallout from the blackmailing scandal.The implications of what he did (in his position) are now coming to bite him in the butt.

I think some men in Ghana (and maybe other African countries) may cheat because it is somehow socially acceptable for a man to cheat. If a woman cheats it is an abomination but if a man cheats it is like "But you know how men are like..."
Both men and women reinforce this.
Interestingly, one of my male friends used to say that he felt that all men would cheat if given the chance but in his opinion married white men were more reluctant because of fear of huge divorce settlements!

Edward of PathGhana said...

Thanks Abena for the admiration. I think we should introduce pre-nup and martial settlements in Ghana too. As a matter of fact, I think they already exist, it is just the implementation we need.

Mike said...

Edward, you should watch how he broke the details on his show. If I ever get caught for anything, I hope I have a talk show host job on the side where I can do my weak public apology. I hope it was the laugh-track they were using bcos it won't be cool if his audience were laughing as he spoke.
I love this subject! I've caught a lot of heat on blogs for how I address it.
You use the word "fed up". I'd use the word "unfulfilling".
Both men & women cheat but men do it more & very easily. I can count the number of men I know that do not cheat, on 1 hand. There are a few men that will always seek the thrill of another notch on their belt. I know 1 guy that does that. I think thats immaturity.
Practically all my friends that cheat do so because they are unfulfilled.

Emotionally - Lets take a couple that has kids. The woman's priority would be the kids. The man would agree. But since most women are more nurturing than men, the man starts missing out on the nurturing he used to get pre-kids. If he has no patience, he will fall for the nurturing that the young nurse down the street promises.

Sex - There are times when men just want sex. Women (especially wives) dont always want sex. Not as much as guys do.
My proof? There are more female prostitutes than male prostitutes.

Edward of PathGhana said...

@ Mike|| Very well said Mike, I dont know when these cheating habits in men started, but I am pretty sure something could be done about it, especially when someone is always affected in a way!

Mike said...

Yes, I believe something can be done about it. Two approaches I have bought into:
#1 is Prayer. There is a blog that has addressed it; The Golden Wives Club.
# 2 is Honesty between guy & gal from the very first time they start talking. A bunch of guys & gals have discussed this at length on Boakyewaa Glover's blog. Honesty appears to be the key.

Lady A said...

Guys, we have to remember that the devil does not discriminate!!!! He seeks out to and fro whom he (devil) can devour. So guard your HEART! Sin is sin. Whether the man or woman cheats, it doesn't matter WHY, because it is a heart issue with God. Selfishness is one of them. Just plain selfish!

I know MANY men who didn't, haven't, won't cheat on their wives. Not to say it didn't cross their minds cuz it has, but they didn't.
The devil will ALWAYS propose this infidelity card to you, male or female. You are too decide to accept it or not. Remember, in the bible it says the devil seeks out to and fro who he can devour.......if the devil knows this is your weakness, then he will play it up all the more.....ask my husband.

You can be married to the same person forever and not get bored with the sex. Not want to 'look' somewhere else.
I so agree with Mike....bottom line, UNFULFILLED!!!!

Edward of PathGhana said...

@ Mike|| I like the second suggestion you proposed. I am sure sincerity is a very essential ingredient in all relationships. About you first point!!!. I fear the was men blame their infidel acts on the devil. I might be wrong, but men walk into temptations on their own volition, I therefore think men(or women in a few cases) should be blamed instead of spirits that might have nothing or little to do with these immoral acts

Edward of PathGhana said...

@ Lady A|| I am happy to know prayer has worked for you in your relationship. Men truly are weak creatures. I think there is a lot we can learn from your husband. Thank you for the contribution Lady A.

Anonymous said...

giving men and excuse is just that, an excuse. there are men that are normal, and can be in a healthy friendship. no all men cheat. just some. some are the far extreme and not capable of being normal and do things like keeping track on a spread sheet how many a year, and how many from year to year overlap, and then keep a weekly diary and goals. these people are not normal, they are bill m. knapp of ny. this is 25-32 per year, and not capable of being a normal person, and need the satisfaction of hundreds within each decade to confirm existence of some kind.