“I want us to take some time off”, “I think we went too fast let’s take it slow…”, “I think you will be happier with someone else…”, “this relationship is not working”, “I don’t think your Mama likes me,…”, “can we be just friends from now on?”. These are but a few of the phrases we hear from either the lady or the gentleman when a relationship is just about to expire. Anyone who has been through such moments knows how painful an experience it is, even for the terminator of the relationship.
I know of a thousand and one books and resources that provide people with the necessary skills to con a lady (or a man……….in some rare cases), I am however yet to find such similar resources that teach individuals the best way to break up. Breaking-up undoubtedly is a very dicey subject and an emotional act as well. It’s so inflammable an issue such that even the “experts” discuss it with caution. I have been thinking of which is the best way, if there is any , to call it quits with a partner you have shared your best moments with?
In lots of cases partners come up with all sorts of excuses so as to come out of a ready-to-crash relationship. I have actually heard of instances where the man’s moustache was a reason for break-up. The slightest omission or negligence from one partner could become a very good platform for a termination of relationship.
The mode of termination is even an issue most of the time (or should I say all the time). The ‘text message’ technique I hear is the most cowardly yet least stressful technique; a break up txt message is composed by the terminator in 160 characters or more (which is mostly the case) and sent to the other partner. The phone is then turned off, a new SIM card is inserted and life goes on. It sounds quite simple on paper…..huh? Trust me it is more difficult than keeping the Ghana cedi stable .The jilted would at all cost want some sort of explanation or compensation (or should I say Ex-gratia?). That is the part which makes breaking up a nasty ordeal; the aftereffect of the termination.
The re-bound effect is a very common trap people fall into after a break-up. Individuals in their attempt to get over the break-up tend to spend more time with some other closer pals, usually of the opposite sex. These people, who are to serve as consolers, end up taking advantage of the affected. Experts say this time is the most vulnerable period in the break-up cycle. The urge to replace a lost boyfriend or girlfriend is very likely going to lead to someone taking advantage of you.
What about the partners who have broken up and yet do all they used to do when they were in the relationship and perhaps even more? I guess we all know how difficult it is to really really stick to a break-up, especially when the couple keeps on seeing each other. There is an African proverb which literally means it is easy to put used firewood back on.
How many times must one break-up in order to find the right person? Is it once, five times or is it twenty times?